# Polite English: asking, thanking, and apologising

In English, politeness mostly comes from small words like “please”, “could you”, and “thank you”. The most common phrases for asking, thanking, and apologising in daily life.

Author: Aslıgül Aşkın · Published: 2026-10-01 · Updated: 2026-10-12
Page address: https://grammardots.com/en/blog/polite-english-phrases

In English, politeness mostly comes from small words: “please”, “could you”, “thank you”, “sorry”. Without them, even a correct sentence can sound rude.

## Polite requests

Instead of “Give me the salt.”, “Could you pass the salt, please?” is much more polite. Other phrases: “Can I have…, please?”, “Would you mind opening the window?”, “Could you help me, please?”

## Making requests more polite, step by step

Requests can be arranged like a ladder, from relaxed to very polite. When you want something for yourself, use “Can I…?” or “Could I…?”; when you want the other person to do something, use “Could you…?” or “Would you mind…?”

Request phrases: from most relaxed to most polite

| Phrase | When? | Example |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Can I…? | With friends and family | Can I have some water? |
| Could I…? | In a shop, with a stranger | Could I see the menu, please? |
| Could you…? | When you ask for help | Could you open the door, please? |
| Would you mind + -ing? | For a bigger favour | Would you mind waiting a moment? |

After “Would you mind…?” the verb takes -ing: “Would you mind closing the door?” To agree, you answer “No, not at all.”, because the question really asks whether it is a problem for you. Answering “Yes.” can sound like “Yes, I do mind.”

## Thanking and replying

“Thank you.”, “Thanks a lot.”, “Thank you so much for your help.” In reply: “You're welcome.”, “No problem.”, “My pleasure.”

To say what you are thanking someone for, use “for”: “Thanks for the coffee.”, “Thank you for your time.” When “for” comes before a verb, the verb takes -ing: “Thanks for helping me.”

Replies also change with the situation. “You're welcome.” fits everywhere. “No problem.” and “No worries.” sound relaxed between friends. “My pleasure.” and “Not at all.” are a little more formal and warm.

## Apologising

“Sorry!” is for small mistakes. In more serious situations: “I'm really sorry.”, “I apologise for the delay.” Use “Excuse me.” to get someone's attention or to get past.

## Sorry, Excuse me, and Pardon: which one when?

How the three phrases differ

| Phrase | When? | Example |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Sorry. | After a mistake, or when you bother someone | Sorry, I didn't see you. |
| Excuse me. | Before you act, to get attention or get past | Excuse me, is this seat free? |
| Pardon? | When you didn't hear, to ask for a repeat | Pardon? Could you say that again? |

In short, “Excuse me” comes before you do something and “Sorry” comes after. To move through a crowded bus you say “Excuse me.”; if you bump into someone on the way, you add “Sorry!” For a sentence you did not hear, “Sorry?” works like “Pardon?”, with your voice rising as in a question.

## Saying no politely

Instead of a plain “No.”: “No, thank you.”, “I'm afraid I can't.”, “Thanks, but I'm OK.” A refusal that starts with thanks always sounds softer.

## Typical mistakes Turkish speakers make

A frequent mistake is answering “thank you” with “Please.” The Turkish “Rica ederim.” brings “please” to mind, but in English “please” is used when you ask for something or accept an offer. The right reply to thanks is “You're welcome.” or “No problem.”

Another mistake is thinking a plain instruction becomes polite once you add “please”. “Give me a tea, please.” is understood but can sound blunt. “Could I have a tea, please?” is much more natural.

Saying “Sorry for late.” when you arrive late is also wrong. The correct forms are “Sorry I'm late.” or “Sorry for being late.” After “Sorry for” comes a noun or a verb with -ing: “Sorry for the noise.”, “Sorry for interrupting.”

## A short example dialogue

In this conversation, a passenger on a train asks the person nearby for help with a suitcase. Notice how the request, thanks, and apology phrases follow one another.

- “Excuse me, would you mind helping me with my suitcase?”
- “Not at all. There you go.”
- “Thank you so much.”
- “You're welcome.”
- “Oh, sorry, is this your seat?”
- “No worries, I'm getting off at the next stop.”

To keep going, see [Can, could, and should in English: ability, requests, and advice](https://grammardots.com/en/blog/can-could-should-in-english) and [English phrases for making appointments and phone calls](https://grammardots.com/en/blog/english-phone-and-appointment-phrases).

## Frequently asked questions

### Does “Can you” sound rude?

No, it is polite with “please”. “Could you” is a little more polite and formal.

### What is the difference between “Sorry” and “Excuse me”?

“Sorry” apologises for a mistake; “Excuse me” gets someone's attention or asks to get past.

### Is there a difference between “Thanks” and “Thank you”?

The meaning is the same. “Thanks” is shorter and more relaxed; in a formal email or with a stranger, “Thank you” fits better.